Another month

Another month is almost gone. It's not getting any easier, its not getting any better it's just going along being a waking nightmare. I don't know what it will take to make things better. Well there are a couple of things, but they are not going to happen. I think the number one thing is Alec needs to make some changes in his life, and his relationship. But he's not ready for another loss in his life. He has spent so long in this relationship that he doesn't know what to do without her. I get that, but I don't know that he will ever reach that point. It's like Tom and his GED test. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it. I understand that they are afraid, but fear cannot rule a life, it will just ruin it.
At this point I just want the drama to be over with. The drama with the kids, the drama with work, the drama with all of it. But that isn't the nature of life, we have drama, over and over. I guess I should quit my complaining and get on with life, but the truth is I miss my son. My sons, and I don't want to go on with feeling this way. I don't have a choice, and I will continue, but I don't like a bit of it. But we will go on, and on because that is what we have to do.
Lots of rambling today, not a lot of sense. Guess some days are going to be like that.