How did we get here

Six weeks and one day. I'm back at work, no accomplishing much, but I get an hour to drive to work everyday, and an hour to drive home to think about where we are at. On one hand I have friends at work that are there for me every day and talk to me, listen, let me cry when I need to. On the other hand there are people I don't here from at all. I don't know if they don't know what to say to me, or what to do. There isn't anything to say, there are no words. I wish there were. I know there isn't. One of the PO's in another office that I barely know called me and talked to me. He has also lost a son and knows what it's about. It sucks, and there is no other way to put it. But now I feel like the longer it goes the fewer people that are getting in touch of me. Fewer emails, fewer phone calls. There are some that I know are there for me and call and check in. Others that I thought would be there haven't made any contact since Chris died. I have no idea what that is about. We have found an online support group that is a huge help to us. I guess I'm just feeling bad, and don't know what to do with it. Blaming others isn't the way to go. But here we are dealing with life after Chris. That's the dividing line from now on. Chris, and after Chris. What a way to look at your life. We want it to be different, but it's not. So now we spend the rest of our lives learning to live with it.