Easter

It doesn't seem possible that it's Easter already. It's one more thing that has passed by since Chris died. Easter used to be a big deal for use, Easter Sunday services, all the things leading up to it, the special nature of an Easter service. Now it's another day, not any other day, I still recognize the significance of the day and what it means for those of us who believe in Christ, but I have a hard time getting enthused for the holiday.
When you have a child that is sick, most people don't understand that there isn't a part of your life that is not effected. Nothing is immune. When your child dies it doesn't just effect your life, it changes every part of your life. And that is exactly what is going on, our life has been changed and we can't do anything to make it go back to the way it was. I talked to an old friend this week who didn't know anything about what we had gone through in the last year. She was devastated when I told her that Chris had died. I had to try and comfort her. I guess I have had more time to get used to the idea. Get used to it, there's a joke, we adapt, but we get used to the pain, it becomes a part of us I guess.
Now the drama is continuing only it's getting worse. If feels like we are losing another son, and there is nothing we can do about it. Well there is, we can give into someone who treats our son poorly and is disrespectful to us. Allow her to have her way and run our home the way she runs our son, but there is no way we can live with that, so here we are, watching another child leave. I guess like everything else we have been through we will survive this. Some how, some way we will survive, because that is what we do.